At a recent Artists' Lab* retreat we focused on the balance between
pride and humility. The act of exhibiting one's work is a delicate
balance between those two points. It takes a certain confidence in
one's work to exhibit, similarly to publish even on as basic a level as a
blog post. You have to believe that what you do will interest others.
You have to trust the quality of what you produce even if it is still a
work in progress, no less so than each of us.
I have
had the experience of displaying my artwork in a gallery space, each
painting nestled within my husband's beautiful hand-crafted frames.
Carefully lit, the paintings glow in the spotlights. The underlying
stories are drafted with care and posted alongside the work. I look around
and marvel that I created this body of work.
Yet before
that same show I often have that moment where I decide I don't like any
of my paintings and want to start over. Nothing feels adequate and I
question my readiness to share my work with the public.
More
often I am pleased with some paintings, but uneasy about others. I
need to live with a painting for several months before I declare it
finished. There is a process of coming to terms with my work that must
precede that declaration. When I rush it, I am unsettled, not at peace
with my artwork.
Then I stand up and give a talk. I
breathe life into my creations with words. I share my process and
passion with an audience and as I feel the connection with them I
again find comfort in my work.
Pride, humility,
feelings of inadequacy, satisfaction. Artists move up and down the
scale like a keyboard, striking both soaring and troubled notes.
In
the Artists' Lab we look at these topics through the lens of text, then
translating it into the artist's experience. In this instance we
talked about the story of Joseph (Genesis 37:9-41) and his maturation
process from a naive youth insensitively recounting his dream to his
brothers, inciting their jealousy. We followed his story as he is
brought down and rises again as an adviser to Pharaoh. Along the way we
note his movement from imperious speech and pride to a quiet confidence
in his ability to both understand the meaning of dreams and the wisdom
to respond to their meaning. As artists we also go through a maturation
process, learning to trust our work as we find the courage to present
it confidently to a broader audience, moving past doubts to believe that
we just might have something worth sharing.
*The
Jewish Artists’ Laboratory is an arts initiative through the Sabes
Jewish Community Center featuring 17 artists exploring the theme of
Text/Context/Subtext through study and art making. The project is funded
through The Covenant Foundation and similar projects are being done in
both Milwaukee and Madison. Artists explore how the theme of
Text/Context/Subtext is relevant to Jews and non-Jews, to religious and
non-religious, to the community and to the individual, to the artist and
the non-artist.
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